Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
