so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
