I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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