yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize