Whod you bang
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
