Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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