if you like me you must not know who I am
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Randomize
