So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
