do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
