wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
