I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
