i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
