did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
