Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize