i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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