Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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