I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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