At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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