Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
