I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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