ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize