he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
