Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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