Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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