someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
