i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
