She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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