Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize