When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize