I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
