Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You are the jesus of drinking
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
