I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
