I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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