i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
