Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize