i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
