I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want to have your abortion
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
