She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
