HIV tests are more positive than that guy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
