oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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