wat bout pragnant strippers??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
