Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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