Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
