you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize