okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
