i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize