the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Never underestimate the power of titties
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