There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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