i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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