Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
