Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
