the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
