I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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