I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
someone owes me an orgasm
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize