that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You need a sexual gate keeper
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
