who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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