Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
