I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
