just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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