His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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