Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
