the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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