I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize