You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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