i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
