we made out on top of his cat.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize