I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
