dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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