i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
