its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
These tits shall not be calmed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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